Frustfrated post related with coursemates

I am quite pissed off with people around me today. seriously very disappoint.

When i giving u a chance or a hope to change better. You don't really appreciate it..I can't see or feel it.. and i hate empty promises laaaaaa!!!

I'm talking of two party.. one is individual and another one is in a group. LUCKILY..and i am very very very super grateful never be in the same project with you all in every project this semester. Please laa..don't always expect that i can handle so much at one time..when i let go some, choose other people become leader and construct the discussion and work with it laa.. you guys think i am robot meh? i know you guys super smart no need to rely on project marks so much..so u think u can just dump it or let me take fully responsible of it..be considerate laa..at least try to be the leader once..a leader is not must good and best in everything for the project..he/she just need to conduct the group work.. grrrrrrr!!! I am freaking tired..everytime comes to project i feel so tired..i am very motivated during my first year..but as time passed, the disappointment is growing and i am losing hope..so i trying to get other group to do the project..i am glad that my new group i joined all work already in process..and some almost done.. i am very glad! If you think you wanna continue this way until last semester..just carry on laa.. u will know what's the consequences when you working..

Heartbreak postssss

Some random post that was draft on 7th Aug 2011:

He finally destroy all my hopes. The leftover hopes. On 31st july 2011. All ends now.

I am so stupid that put all the blames on myself and family for not being perfect. To meet his parents' requirements.

But now, I feel that i should find someone who accept who I am and what kind of family I am having instead. 

Whether i found it or not. It doesn't matter. I shall keep go on and do what i should do.

I am tired to make any more changes. Maybe after i am all ready. I will make myself clear that i am really single now.

Some random post that was draft on 4th July 2011:

I locked the love towards you. Though it try to break the lock at times.

I don't know i will have chance to unlock it or not.

I still keeping all his sms. Yea, from sms that he first time send to me.
I mm seh tak to delete them. They are what motivates me when i am feeling depressed. Can i keep them for longer period?

Hope he is happier now.
Hope he will excel in studies when he back canada.

i used to jealous he have a female hsemate and leng luis around him.
But i have no right to jealous anymore. He has his freedom from me now.
He can do anything he want. No need to report to me.

I don't know whether myfriends thinking i am faking onot because i dont show sad face infront them. But actually i am crying everynight before sleep and when i open my eyes the next morning, all i think about is him.

I love him.

Dear heart oh heart, can u just stop involve in so many things? Your job is just pump blood laa..

Some random post that was draft on 3rd July 2011:

The end of our 1year++ long distance relationship.
No matter how much efforts i had put, it end up with nothing. Maybe just, very very not so close friendship. I know he trying avoid talking to much with me. I think i need to avoid finding him also. Maybe just weekends. I don't wanna lose him in my life. But then..

His parents..why so strict..why dun let ur son to choose his own life partner?

Why they must break us? Why ky so obedient? why he don't fight back? why he doesnt want to work this out with me?

We spend 654days as couple.
We didnt get to celebrate monthsary or anniversary together when he is in msia.

My heart, my soul badly injured again.

I don't like underground, but for him, i am willing to. But his parents started to suspect and ky feeling more sanfu. HAIH.

Why i always fail in my relationship, i don't deserve one life partner that love me till i die?

I need to move on.
I know i need to stop hoping, I know i need to move on.

But.. "i know" is different from "i can"

Some random post that was draft on 8th June 2011:

On 7th June, this girl happily go work even though her works is stressful.

But she keep motivates herself that after her working time, she will have fun with her loved ones.

But she was really suprise on what happen is totally wrong.

This girl have to face it. This girl trying to save back.

This girl trying to accept. This girl trying to find solution.

This girl try to hold her tears, but she fail.

When this girl wants to cry, she could not.

This girl can't see her future.

This girl lose her most precious hope.

This girl full of disappointment now.

This girl also know she can't do anything now, she has no right to decide.

She only left time to heal her. Another big cut on her heart now. She is miserable.

This girl just hope she can play her role well.

This girl also hope he will success even if he won't return to her.

This girl love him very much.

This girl...

This girl will play her role well.

Please help this girl. Please bear with her. Please be her best listener. She don't need advise. Only your ear.

Lastly, this girl hope her birthday wish that she made every year will come true.

Please pray this girl will happy forever. Please bless everything is going to be fine.

If not, just take her life away.

This girl crying while typing this. And,

This girl fail her relationship again.

But this girl need to play her role well. Hope peoples around will appreciate and feel it.

So emo right? But on 31st August 2012, I am okay now. Feeling alot better. Those sms that I wanted to keep accidentally lost cos i forgot to back up my phone when i send to warranty. Feeling sad for few days..then i am fine again! Congrats..huey wen! :D